Investopemania
Read this funny thing from Euromoney magazine. Have to quote in full:
Top 10 Financial Definitions That Are Funnier Since the Credit Crunch
Auditor: person that arrives after a battle to finished the wounded.
Bull Market: a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
EBIT: Earnings before irregulatirites and tampering
EBITDA: earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor
Bear Market: Eight months when the kids get no allowane, the wife gets no jeweller and the husband gets no sex.
Broker: the person that you trust with thousands of your hard-earned dollars
Broker: what my broker has made me
Momentum Investing: the art of buying high and selling low
Value investing: the art of bying low and selling low
Stand and Poors: your life in a nutshell.
The list can surely be hugely expanded. In fact, II magazine ran a much longer and pretty funny version last year called Devil’s Dictionary of Finance by Edward Chancellor. Here are a few good ones:
Prime broker: The unit of an investment bank that services hedge funds. Prime broker loans to hedge funds are now securitized and sold on to… hedge funds.
Private equity: A branch of the investment industry run by deal makers rather than investors. This may explain why despite a quarter century of generally rising asset prices and falling interest rates and huge dollops of leverage, investors in buyout funds would, on average, have been better off leaving their money in the stock market. The same cannot be said of private equity’s general partners.
Risk premium: A gauge of investors’ willingness to lose their clients’ money. A high premium occurs only after a lot of clients’ money has been lost and reflects money managers’ fear of losing their jobs.
